Male Model Job position has been filled

Claudie Vestibule,

We would like to thank you for taking the time to apply to the position of male model age 21-25 for insurance company client. After careful consideration of your credentials and experience, we have decided to move forward with other applicants. As a courtesy to all candidates whom we feel possess potential for male modelship, we would like to address areas for personal improvement.

1. Angles: All our male models are experts at looking into a camera lens. Though your headshots were well produced, the angles you struck were amateurish. On headshot #2 your head is tilted left at 20 degrees. We recommend a minimum of 25 degrees for this composition. On headshot #5 your eyes are angled 30 degrees off-center from the vanishing point to which your nose points. We recommend no more than 20 degrees so as not to show too much of the white of the eye, which is off-putting and ugly. You know how you never see the hero in Hollywood movies pee or poo? Same idea.

2. Body: We highly recommend you cease from squat-thrusting to the gym in skinny jeans. This can be detrimental to the image of a male model. All squat-thrusting in skinny jeans should be carried out in the privacy of your mother-in-law’s estate. If your mother-in-law does not have an estate, or if you do not have a mother-in-law, we recommend procuring one before applying to more male model jobs.

3. Skin: Our male model positions tend to pay well because our insurance company clients, marketing agency clients, and real estate clients hire white people. Unfortunately, though you claim white tone, we can see in your headshots that your heritage is in fact French or Swiss. We can’t help you much in this regard, other than to say you might consider a Jackson Skin Laser Procedure.

4. Hair: We appreciate your explanation of processes which go into your hair amelioration. Unfortunately, said explanation reveals an at best novice understanding of good hair-care. Our insurance company client needs a male model who possesses intrigue both in looks and in knowledge. If you possessed this knowledge, you would know that common mice rib cages are not optimal sources for comb teeth. Rather, it is the double-stacked rib cages of pygmy marmosets that yield the best combs. And you mention Pantene Pro-V mixed with baby marmot blood as a shampoo, when in fact the combo that produces best results is Pantene Pro-V Advanced Care mixed with baby marmot blood. Until you learn these things, hiring managers and recruiters will not take you seriously.

We thank you again for your interest in male modeling with our insurance company client. We encourage you to look straighter ahead, get a mother-in-law, be whiter, and learn proper hair care. Feel free to reapply once you’ve become a better male model position candidate.


Hiring Manager

Blooper Talent Agency

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