Attention all artists looking for a job! This is the opportunity for YOU. Do you like drawing dicks? Do you end up drawing dicks when you’re trying to draw something else? Well, your talents are NEEDED NOW!

We’re a sperm bank in Pichula Country, and we’re launching a new marketing push to get the word out that we need man juice to replenish our dwindling stock. We call it Dickapallooza.

This is a FULL TIME JOB with dental, vision, wellness package of $2k a year, stock options and first dibs sperm selection perks. All you have to do is draw dicks and post them to our social media, website, and on sperm donation, adoption, insemination, IVF, parenthood, and teen pregnancy forums. The more dicks the better, and we love creativity (think bearded dicks with hats, dicks on the moon, dicks at a strip club watching dicks strip, ginger dicks).

This is a great way to get EXPOSURE, and to make a name for yourself in the artistic world of dickthusiasts.

We’re a professional group of clinicians, technicians and assistants who have seen a lot of dick, and we make lots of dick jokes in our office so you won’t lack inspiration (William makes the best ones and they always end in the sprinklers going off)!

We’ll provide Photoshop, a Wacom tablet, and popcorn. We have Dr. Pepper on tap, it increases sperm count. Applicants must submit at least one color PNG of a dick they drew within the past 3 days (please, no self portraits).

All interested parties send a cover letter and resume to*: drawthedicks@pichulasperm.com.

*Applications are reviewed on a rolling basis. Will hire more than one artist if there’s a dick-off.